PHEW.

So the end of the first week of school is quickly coming to a close. And I can already tell that I'm going to LOVE college... and honestly I wish I didn't have to even take spanish at High School.

I LOVVVEE my classes. (not a big fan of spanish.. but I mean the class takes no effort... and is all mindless to me anyway.. just saying)

Whoever said that AP classes prepare you for what college was going to be like was seriously disturbed.. Because from what I've experienced so far... English 101 is EASY PEASY... I mean, really, no tests.. No final exam... Essays on movies that are actually enjoyable to watch.. Essays or criminal Investigation shows (woop), Essays on the stereotypes of highschool students in movies and TV shows... I CAN WRITE THAT KIND OF ESSAY!!! I could write at LEAST 1,000 words on the high school stereotype one alone.. at least... I gripe about it all the time already anyway :D

But again.. I'm just taking General Education type classes right now..

I can also already tell that Tuesdays and Thursdays are going to be my favorite days. One class at TCC.. I mean I have to get up earlier those days, but then I'm done.. And I get to chill at Panera Bread and do homework and eat yummy pastries so I can use their internet... What's not to love about that?

I got a little lonely today in the car on the way to panera bread.. Because I am all by myself a lot now... no one is there in the car.. I don't really know anyone at school..

But it's cool, because it gives me a lot of "Amanda" time.. You know, a lot of time to just sit, drive, and think.. Which is nice..

I have also decided that rainy days are my favorite days. And here is my deep reason now:

Well, you see. I feel really comfy and relaxed when it's a steady drizzle outside. All of my defenses are let down (mostly). I don't care anymore what I look like, what my hair is doing, or even what clothes I'm wearing (to an extent.. I would LOVE a pair of rain boots :D and my jacket served as a pseudo-rain poncho.) No one else cares what you look like because they are either to absorbed in getting out of the rain, staying as dry as possible, or they also love the rain very much. (At least, that's what I figure.. I don't really care about what people think about me when it's raining.. to be honest.. which is nice..) It is also really calming... It puts me in that mood to want to curl up and read a book.. or actually be productive and do homework..

I don't know.. I just really love rainy days.. I wish we had days like today more often.. (Minus the end of the day.. and having marching practice inside.. But I won't even talk about that.. It would just ruin my very good positive blog post about how good my day had been)

*sigh*

I'm going to go to bed, and pray that God would send me another rainy day like today. :)

AKFHADFSGDFGAS;DFSA

I'm really frustrated right now, and as much as I love my friends sometimes I want to just wallow in my band mood and frustrations and have someone try to pull me out of it and say "oh Amanda just be flexible it will all work out". No it won't work out! It won't work out the way I had it planned! I had it planned all perfectly! I don't want someone telling me all of these things! If band weren't moved then I wouldn't HAVE to do all of this! So as much as I love all of you, Just let me get over it myself!

I'm just in a bad mood, sorry.

LALALALA

I feel that I've highly neglected this thing..

Tomorrow is the start of pre-season band camp. DUH DUH DUH. AKA, the official end of our summer and a temporary stop to life as we know it.

No exaggeration whatsoever. This week is the kind of "eat, sleep, and band practice" weeks.

*sigh*

It's like a huge speed bump. But that's ok.

I'm all prepared.. now I'm just lollygagging around the house just waiting until it's time to go to bed...

so... yup..

Band

It totally doesn't even matter in the long run whether I'm first chair or not. Or whether I get a bunch of solos to put me in the spot light. Or whether I even beat Katie at school.

I have two years left of band and I'm going to make the most of it, instead of stressing and wasting tears on what part of a piece of music I play. That's not the point.

The point is that I'm coming together with a bunch of amazing people, and we are able to put together and play and do amazing things together.

And it really doesn't matter what note I play while doing it. Just as long as I'm doing it.

And whenever I feel down about the whole ordeal.. I'll only just have to remember pre-MPA concert... the night we pretended that I was there all along... The night I realized that we're all in it together.. That was the night..

It was also the night I got a lot of people wanting to back me up by pushing someone in a hole.. But I told them that it wouldn't be needed.. hahaha..

LAZINESS

la-la-la

I just got back from an amazing mission trip

la-la-la

I gained a lot of new insights

la-la-la

I feel more peace

la-la-la

A lot of funny/entertaining things happened

la-la-la

God is good.

yup. I'm too tired right now to say any more.. eventually I will regain enough sleep to write a ten page report on the mission trip.. But right now I'm sitting in my room with my desk lamp on, and the rest of my lights out at 7:27 PM.. and each minute that trudges on makes me look more longingly at my bed.. I'm going to sleep!!!!!!!!!!

I really actually could write ten whole pages of actual substance on it if I had the energy to though.. just being honest...

Amanda-isms

There are a few things I don't enjoy doing at all..

Like:

Being forced to read something: I enjoy reading already, when someone makes me do it it's like that sucks all of the fun and pleasure out of it.

Packing to go somewhere: ARG, I hate that feeling of "I know I forgot something, what was it!?" Because no matter where your going, how long you'll be gone, or even if you HAVEN'T forgotten anything.. You always have that stupid nagging feeling in the back of your head. (I'm packing right now to go on a mission trip to go to Tennessee/To see DCI tomorrow *woot*)

Homework: Enough Said

Practicing Scales: I'd much rather practice an actual song.. practicing scales is so boring to me.

Trying to get my dog to come in at night: Because who wouldn't like to stand out on your back porch clapping and screaming your dogs name, and making kissing noises things *wow, that sounds really weird when it's put that way) just to have your dog come to you. When it's practically the middle of the night. (in the day I could care less if she comes to me, let her stay out there I don't care)

But not to be all Lazy.. There are also a few things that I enjoy doing a lot:

Spending time with my friends and family together: It's always a good time. Nothing can beat playing spades with Janice, my mom, and dad.. (and me and my dad WINNING). Or playing rock band with dad and daniel and janice.. And playing the drums until my arms are in pain. (yeah yeah)

Band Trips/football games/anything non-marching marathon practice related: You know, the times when you just spout out laughing uncontroleably for no good reason. And overall just having a REALLY good time.

Going on little day trips: Long trips are fun too. But every once and while it's fun to just break up a long boring week and just go to the beach for a day.. or just go do something different. You know, shake it up every once and a while.

There's a lot more.. But that was just mindless procrastination of going to bed.. So I suppose I'll go to bed now.

I remembered the purpose!!

It finally remembered why I came to this website! GO ME. ok.. don't go me.. but whatever..

WEDNESDAY NIGHT

So each wednesday in the summer our youth group has a dress-up night.. quiz.. and all of this competing fun jazz.. and usually it's like a little trivia quiz on what we learned that night at the end. First one who stands up and answers it correctly gets points for their grade.. and all that fun stuff..

Well last night instead of doing the usual Bible Butt (also know as Buff.. but we won't get into that) Quiz.. Each grade had to send people up front on stage to talk about what we've learned all summer.. And yeah.. Well I was the one sent up for 10th grade.. And you see.. I'm WAYYYYY more comfortable talking to a bunch of people behind a computer screen. Because you see when I'm talking/videoing behind a computer screen.. or typing to a bunch of people.. It's not as scary.. because usually I'm in the comfort of my own room, by myself, and usually I'm in my pajamas.. So I'm much more at ease..

But you see, the moment you stick me up on a stage it's like something triggers in my body that just makes me shake uncontrolably.. It's actually quite frustrating for me. Because it happens EVERYTIME I'm on a stage by myself.. band being the exception.. But that's different in a way.

Because mentally I'm not that nervous. Mentally I know I'm fine and I know that I won't make a complete and utter fool of myself.

But physically.. I don't know what it is.

This becomes increasingly frustrating and annoying at piano recitals. Mentally I know that I'll do just fine.. But physically my hands are shaking, and my legs are shaking.. Which kind of makes playing a little difficult...

So my thought is, is it so wrong to be more comfortable sitting in front of a computer screen with the possibility of talking to a thousand people (on youtube.. not on blogger.. haha.. I don't think people really know I have a blog.. or if they do they don't really care) and not even a remote sense of nerves. Than it is to be standing on a stage, holding that microphone, in front of a hundred plus people?

I do realize that sometimes this sense of not being nervous while making a video and posting it to youtube.. or even just carelessly saying something online.. Can also sometimes be a bad thing.. Like not thinking about/or realizing the effect that action can have on people. But if you do realize that.. Is it bad?

*SIGH*

that was just my random mumblings.

(oh, and btw I got our grade first place in that little thing last night. Which honestly I can't take to much credit for. Because literally I just wrote down basically everything we said upstairs.. and read it on stage more or less. haha.)