I remembered the purpose!!

It finally remembered why I came to this website! GO ME. ok.. don't go me.. but whatever..

WEDNESDAY NIGHT

So each wednesday in the summer our youth group has a dress-up night.. quiz.. and all of this competing fun jazz.. and usually it's like a little trivia quiz on what we learned that night at the end. First one who stands up and answers it correctly gets points for their grade.. and all that fun stuff..

Well last night instead of doing the usual Bible Butt (also know as Buff.. but we won't get into that) Quiz.. Each grade had to send people up front on stage to talk about what we've learned all summer.. And yeah.. Well I was the one sent up for 10th grade.. And you see.. I'm WAYYYYY more comfortable talking to a bunch of people behind a computer screen. Because you see when I'm talking/videoing behind a computer screen.. or typing to a bunch of people.. It's not as scary.. because usually I'm in the comfort of my own room, by myself, and usually I'm in my pajamas.. So I'm much more at ease..

But you see, the moment you stick me up on a stage it's like something triggers in my body that just makes me shake uncontrolably.. It's actually quite frustrating for me. Because it happens EVERYTIME I'm on a stage by myself.. band being the exception.. But that's different in a way.

Because mentally I'm not that nervous. Mentally I know I'm fine and I know that I won't make a complete and utter fool of myself.

But physically.. I don't know what it is.

This becomes increasingly frustrating and annoying at piano recitals. Mentally I know that I'll do just fine.. But physically my hands are shaking, and my legs are shaking.. Which kind of makes playing a little difficult...

So my thought is, is it so wrong to be more comfortable sitting in front of a computer screen with the possibility of talking to a thousand people (on youtube.. not on blogger.. haha.. I don't think people really know I have a blog.. or if they do they don't really care) and not even a remote sense of nerves. Than it is to be standing on a stage, holding that microphone, in front of a hundred plus people?

I do realize that sometimes this sense of not being nervous while making a video and posting it to youtube.. or even just carelessly saying something online.. Can also sometimes be a bad thing.. Like not thinking about/or realizing the effect that action can have on people. But if you do realize that.. Is it bad?

*SIGH*

that was just my random mumblings.

(oh, and btw I got our grade first place in that little thing last night. Which honestly I can't take to much credit for. Because literally I just wrote down basically everything we said upstairs.. and read it on stage more or less. haha.)